Trifle in an Airport
In my last post, I described a story dynamic that often shows up in Stage 4 of the Hero’s Journey: Atonement with the Father. This is Hollywood language that intersects a core Christian doctrine. You may want to read that post before continuing.
My goal is to help us see our faith not just intellectually but also imaginatively—through the lens of story. As Jesus did with parables.
I used Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back to illustrate Atonement with the Father as a story dynamic. One iconic scene captured the moment a hero is confronted with the unthinkable about his father. How will he reconcile what he learns with what he knows—or thought he knew?
I also mentioned Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen’s novel set in the early 1800’s at the country estate of the Bennet family. We meet the family in the opening chapter. Mr. Bennet is a good father in many ways but deeply flawed. Because of British inheritance laws, his failure to provide for his family leaves his five daughters facing financial ruin upon his death. Elizabeth Bennet, the story’s hero, loved her father, but she had to reconcile his affection with his ultimate failure to protect her future.
Fathers and the Father
Inheritance laws may have changed, but disappointment with fathers remains universal. Mr. Bennet was a good father, but he wasn’t perfect. I imagine Elizabeth had mixed feelings about her father’s love—confusion, at least, with perhaps anger, resentment, and rebellion. As we all do with imperfect fathers—which is to say, all of us—we feel disappointed.
What do we do then with a God who introduces himself as a Father? If he is God, and perfect, what do we do when he fails to meet our expectations? What if he does not satisfy our desires for marriage or financial security? How do we reconcile his goodness with his apparent lack of care?
When God fails to meet our expectations, one common reaction is to project our earthly experiences onto him.
Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." To keep our hearts from growing sick and tangled up in bitter roots, we need what story calls Atonement with the Father. The question it asks us: What do we do when our fathers disappoint us?
We must face our disappointment and seek true reconciliation with our fathers and our God.
Caveat: this issue in no way demands excusing an abuser or living with one. When our fathers are toxic, or we find ourselves in an abusive situation, it’s time to seek help. Toxic fathering isn't God's design.
A Trifle?
A few years ago, I sat stranded in a foreign airport, angry at God. My contact hadn't shown up, communication had failed, and God seemed silent. Where was my contact? Why did God not intervene to restore communication between us? His silence left me with no clue why, or how long, I would have to wait.
True, I was only stuck in an airport, but it hit during a difficult season. Feeling abandoned and ignored, I paced the concourse and complained, “Where are you? Why don’t you answer? How long must I wait?”
But, reluctant to accuse God of anything, I stuffed my thoughts and sat down. After all, he was God, and I was not. He was always right and perfect, right? Feeling angry with God felt heretical, but it was real.
Strangely enough, a spiritual trope began looping through my head. Maybe you’ve heard it: “If I’m good, I’ll be blessed. If I’m bad, I’ll suffer consequences.” I thought I’d been pretty good lately, so where was my blessing?
God used that stranded moment to correct my flawed theology. He nudged me back up into the fight. He had been answering—surfacing something for me to examine. Now he nudged me to argue with him, and not about him in my head. An astonishing nudge. But I was angry enough to do so and voiced my complaint.
God seized a teachable moment to correct a wrong belief I held about him: Our relationship could not be transactional but was infinitely more profound. He wasn't a sugar daddy failing to deliver; he was a loving Father inviting me to speak honestly, shed my false assumptions, and trust who he truly is.
If you’re thinking how trifling a situation this was, you’re right. But the anger and questions were no trifling matter, nor was the answer. By learning to work it out with God, I learned to work it out with others. He allowed me plenty of time in that airport for an Atonement with the Father moment.
For a hero in a story, this is a critical inflection point in the hero’s character arc. A moment when delusions, assumptions, and false beliefs collapse so true relationship can begin.
Reflection Questions:
· Do you need an "Atonement with the Father" moment in your spiritual life?
· What current circumstances are prompting you to ask: “Where are you, God?”
· Are you projecting an imperfect earthly father onto your view of God?