A Trifle in the Airport

In my last post, I described a story dynamic that often shows up in Stage 4 of the Hero’s Journey: Atonement with the Father. That’s Hollywood language that mirrors a core Christian doctrine. You may want to read that post before continuing.

My goal is to help us see our faith not just intellectually but also imaginatively—through the lens of story. As Jesus did with parables.

I used Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back to illustrate the story dynamic called “Atonement with the Father.” (I know, ironic, right?) One iconic scene captured the moment a hero (Luke Skywalker) is confronted with the unthinkable about his father. How does Luke reconcile what he learns with what he thought he knew? You’ll have to see the films.

I also mentioned Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen’s novel set in the early 1800’s at the country estate of the Bennet family. We meet the family in the opening chapter. Mr. Bennet is a good father in many ways but deeply flawed. Because of British inheritance laws, his failure to provide for his family leaves his five daughters facing financial ruin upon his death. Elizabeth Bennet, the story’s hero, loved her father, but she had to reconcile his affection with his failure to protect her future.

Fathers and the Father

Inheritance laws may have changed, but disappointment with fathers remains universal. Mr. Bennet was a good but imperfect father. Elizabeth had to reconcile mixed feelings about her father’s love—perhaps confusion, anger, resentment, and rebellion. As we all do with imperfect fathers—which means all of us—we feel disappointed.

What do we do then with a God who introduces himself as a Father? If he is God, and perfect, what do we do when he fails to meet our expectations? What if he does not satisfy our desires for marriage or financial security? How do we reconcile his goodness with his apparent lack of care?

When God fails to meet our expectations, one common reaction is to project our earthly experiences onto him.

 Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." To keep our hearts from growing sick and tangled up in bitter roots, we need what story calls Atonement with the Father. It asks the question: What do we do when our fathers disappoint us?

God asks us the same question.

We are set on a path to confront our disappointment or disillusions and seek reconciliation with our fathers and our God.

Caveat: this issue in no way demands excusing an abuser or living with one. When our fathers are toxic, or we find ourselves in an abusive situation, it’s time to seek help. Toxic fathering isn't God's design.

A Trifle?

A few years ago, I sat stranded in a foreign airport, angry at God. My contact hadn't shown up, communication had failed, and God seemed silent. Why did he not intervene to restore communication between me and my contact? His silence left me with no idea of why, or how long, I would have to wait.

True, I was only stuck in an airport, but it hit during a difficult season. Feeling abandoned and ignored, I paced the concourse, complaining, “Where are you? Why don’t you answer? How long must I wait?”

But, reluctant to accuse God of anything, I stuffed my thoughts and sat down. After all, he was God, and I was not. He was always right and perfect, right? Feeling angry with God felt heretical, but it was real.

Strangely enough, a spiritual trope began looping through my head. Maybe you’ve heard it: “If I’m good, I’ll be blessed. If I’m bad, I’ll suffer consequences.” I thought I’d been pretty good lately, so where was my blessing?

God used that stranded moment to correct my flawed theology. He nudged me back up into the fight. He had been answering—surfacing something for me to examine. Now he nudged me to examine why I wasn’t arguing with him, but about him in my head. An astonishing nudge.

God seized a teachable moment to correct a wrong belief I held: Our relationship could not be transactional. He wasn't a sugar daddy failing to deliver; he was a loving Father inviting me to speak honestly, shed my skewed view of him, and know him as he is.

If you’re thinking how trifling a situation this was, you’re right. But the anger and questions were no trifling matter, nor was the answer. By learning to reconcile with God, I learned to reconcile with others. Sometimes it takes an argument.

For a hero in a story, this is a critical inflection point in the hero’s character arc. A moment when delusions, assumptions, and false beliefs collapse so true relationship can begin.

God allowed me plenty of time in that airport for an Atonement with the Father moment. He’ll go at your pace, too. Maybe start with these questions for Reflection:

·  Do you need an "Atonement with the Father" moment in your spiritual life?

·  What current circumstances are prompting you to ask: “Where are you, God?”

·   Are you projecting an imperfect earthly father onto your view of God?